Quirky One Liners

Hope these get you through the day...

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?

This girl rang me up one time, she says "come over, nobody is home", I went over, no one was home!

Depression is just anger without enthusiasm.

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is my roof?

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Slow Down

"Life goes by so fast, if you don't stop and look around....

You might miss it."

Happy Veterans Day

I would like to personally thank all those who have served, and are currently serving our beloved country. I didn't have to a chance to attend the largest Veterans Day parade west of the Mississippi(fun fact about Albany) this morning, but I did happen to hear the jet engines of the fighter planes make their way over Albany. I nearly fell down the stairs trying to throw on some clothes just in time to run out the front door to stand in the driveway and see them. Pretty freaking amazing if you ask me! *Cough Cough Dream Job Cough.....*

Thanks again to past and present who gave me my freedom. I have the utmost respect and gratitude for all of you!!!!!

I'm hungry...

The Bar Pup

Ten Rules For Being Human

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period.
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school call, "life."
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work."
4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.
5. Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.
6. "There" is no better a place than "here." When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."
7. Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
9. Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
10. You Will Forget All This.

It's Been A While

As I suspected, I took an unknown leave of absence from writing anything lately. I tend to get started on something like this, then go on a writing hiatus for God knows how long. Countless blogs and websites of mine have succumbed to such tragedy. Oh well, things happen.

There is not much to really write about lately. My work schedule is fairly annoying because I am forced to sleep half the day away so I can coherently serve Albany's Finest their beverage of the night. Don't get me wrong, I love the job and being a bartender, but the current schedule is just rough on the body.

7pm-4am.

As most of you know, I've always been a night owl and survived on ridiculously small amounts of sleep for decades (two to be exact, but it made it sound better, right?) Maybe it's come with age and now it's just not so appealing. Maybe it's because I don't currently live in Corvallis anymore and the City of Albany actually has a bedtime to where I am alone after work instead of running into friends at 4am at the convenient store. Haha.

I also realize I'm blessed to even have this job and I appreciate it everyday, because a lot of people out there are really hurting because they cannot find a steady job. I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining because the truth is, I do love bartending at Pop's for now, and most likely will for a while until I am completely done with school. Food's great, drinks are cheap, customers are a hoot, and the owners are like family to me! *insert chuckle here* What more could you ask for!? :)

Hope all is well, and I'll work on posting more things that I have been up to lately. Till next time. Bottoms Up!